mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
