And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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