What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
