You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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