i think my tv is drunk
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
