david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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