I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
