I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
