it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
