Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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