Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize