he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
