Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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