You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
