Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize