It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
