I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
