the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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