why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
