nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
