That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
