i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
