I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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