Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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