Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
