I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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