it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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