I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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