who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
