you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
