haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We got so high we made milksteak
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize