why do cheetos always look like penises
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
