Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
they need to just BURY HIM!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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