I puked a lego.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
