I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
