ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
