It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
