Me too!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
