i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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