i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My ass is underappreciated
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
