I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
