Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
They took my balls.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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