OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
babies were throwing up all over the place
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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