Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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