My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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