I want to stick my p in your. b.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
