I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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