i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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