Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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