what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
