He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
nutella sex= disaster
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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