you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
