Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
