You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
not ubering you a puppy
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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