Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
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she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
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I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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