Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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