Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
