dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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